This Christmas

Christmas for me is every day. As a Christian, that Jesus was born and died so I may have life, is a reality every day. It is not a one day occasion where I sit by a tree with family opening gifts. As such, the hoopla that surrounds Christmas associated with the secular purchasing of gifts, decorating and being in the "holiday" spirit is just not me.

Nevertheless, as the world celebrates a "holiday", I am given time to spend with my family and reflect on God's love, and how I can share that love with others. During this season, I get a heightened sense of fellowship with the people God has placed around me.

This year was my first Christmas away from my parents' home and in my own home with my husband and our 8 month old son. I always envisioned my first Christmas with my husband to be one filled with joy - especially since it is so close to our anniversary. Quite the contrary!

As a matter of fact, my husband and I haven't really been on speaking terms since Christmas Day. My cousins, sister and family friend came by the house late on Christmas Day and surprised us with a cake marked "Happy Anniversary". My husband was his usual self around them...pretended like no one was here and spent the time sitting solitary away from everyone in our bedroom. How rude! I hate it when he does that. Every time my family comes over, he always acts in a very standoffish manner. I hate it! I mean, even if he doesn't want to be around my family, he could at least be happy to be around me. We could at the very least "look" like a happy couple. For goodness sakes, we have only been married for less than a year! Isn't this supposed to be the honeymoon period?

They must all be saying they don't want to "end up" like me and it breaks my heart to think of it! It breaks my heart so much that I can't keep from crying as I write this. I remember saying as a child that I didn't want to end up like some couples I know...and now, I feel like I am worse off than those couples were at the time!