My husband and I attended a Couple’s Night put together by two of the Sunday School teachers at our church, who wanted to reach out to the newlywed couples in their class. We all gathered at the home of one of the couples and over a few appetizers, broke out into groups of husbands (who gathered together in one part of the house) and wives (who met together in another area). Our objectives were to “get real” about the difficulties faced in marriage, and how, as Christians we were to handle those challenges. It was a really great experience. And despite the fact that I was really sick with a horrible cold and didn’t contribute much in the way of conversation (for fear of spreading my germs), I gained a lot out of the experience.
I learned that I was not unique in facing some of the challenges that I met as a wife. I also learned several tools, in the way of communicating, to help me effectively interact with my husband. I was also reminded about God’s plan for marriage and His recommendations of being a good wife and husband. By the end of the night, the husbands and wives met in a focus group and shared the ideas that were discussed in each of the individual groups. It was really beautiful when each of the men presented their wives with a couple of roses.
Flash forward to not even a full week later and boom! We’re back at it again…
It didn’t take long for the honeymoon to come to an abrupt end again.
It all started when yesterday, out of what felt like nowhere, my husband was upset (with me?). I couldn’t understand what was wrong or what I had done to be met with such an attitude. That morning, he helped me bring the baby to the car and walked away, as opposed to us telling each other to have a great day like we usually do. When I honked to get him to come back, he looked at the car and walked away. When I honked again, he walked towards the driver’s side of the car and walked away, sucking his teeth when I asked him what was wrong. As I drove to work, it bothered me so much that I called him to ask him what was wrong and if I had done something to spark this sudden anger. He asked me if I knew I did something wrong. I told him I did not know what I had done, and he responded, “Okay then, well you did nothing!” I told him I wanted to nip everything in the bud and be open and upfront with him to find out what was going on. I also told him I wanted to earnestly apologize to him if I had done something to offend him. I got NOWHERE with that!
He came home from school in the evening and grumbled a “bon soir” or “Good Evening” to me. He then spent most of the night playing with the baby and speaking on the phone, while I spent the evening in silence.
Why?
Why do things have to always be this way?
Why can’t I be happy for a full week?
Could this mean that we were simply not meant to be happy? That despite attending what is the equivalent of a counseling session, we still can’t be on the same page?
I am starting to believe more and more that I have committed the biggest mistake of my life!
I learned that I was not unique in facing some of the challenges that I met as a wife. I also learned several tools, in the way of communicating, to help me effectively interact with my husband. I was also reminded about God’s plan for marriage and His recommendations of being a good wife and husband. By the end of the night, the husbands and wives met in a focus group and shared the ideas that were discussed in each of the individual groups. It was really beautiful when each of the men presented their wives with a couple of roses.
Flash forward to not even a full week later and boom! We’re back at it again…
It didn’t take long for the honeymoon to come to an abrupt end again.
It all started when yesterday, out of what felt like nowhere, my husband was upset (with me?). I couldn’t understand what was wrong or what I had done to be met with such an attitude. That morning, he helped me bring the baby to the car and walked away, as opposed to us telling each other to have a great day like we usually do. When I honked to get him to come back, he looked at the car and walked away. When I honked again, he walked towards the driver’s side of the car and walked away, sucking his teeth when I asked him what was wrong. As I drove to work, it bothered me so much that I called him to ask him what was wrong and if I had done something to spark this sudden anger. He asked me if I knew I did something wrong. I told him I did not know what I had done, and he responded, “Okay then, well you did nothing!” I told him I wanted to nip everything in the bud and be open and upfront with him to find out what was going on. I also told him I wanted to earnestly apologize to him if I had done something to offend him. I got NOWHERE with that!
He came home from school in the evening and grumbled a “bon soir” or “Good Evening” to me. He then spent most of the night playing with the baby and speaking on the phone, while I spent the evening in silence.
Why?
Why do things have to always be this way?
Why can’t I be happy for a full week?
Could this mean that we were simply not meant to be happy? That despite attending what is the equivalent of a counseling session, we still can’t be on the same page?
I am starting to believe more and more that I have committed the biggest mistake of my life!
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